Oh lord; you have been placed in charge of planning your BFF’s bachelorette. Eek! Well, have no fear, I am actually in the midst of planning a Bachelorette Party myself. Unfortunately, that is all I can dish out about her party at the moment since my bestie wants to be surprised… Buuuuuut luckily for her and me – and now, you – this isn’t my first rodeo; planning bachelorette parties has kind of been my thing over the past few years and let’s just say, it has taught me more than a few valuable lessons.
So don’t stress out! You’ve got this – no matter your budget, schedule, or lack thereof. Learn from all the mistakes I have made and avoid repeating them yourself. Also, make sure to check out my Etsy Shop, which is designed to make your life easier while keeping your friends thinking you’ve got your shizz together and are one true girlboss.
Here are 5 Easy Peasy Must-Dos for Planning a Bachelorette:
1. Find out the Bride’s Expectations
First and foremost – find out what the bride is expecting. This may seem like a no-brainer, but you would totally not believe the number of stories I have heard where expectations were not clearly discussed. This is imperative for bachelorette parties. What if your bestie is not at all into the wild scene? What if she would prefer a relaxing spa day instead of a bar crawl that ends with hugging the toilet? What if she is super disappointed by spa day and wishes she could have danced the night away with her girls? You need to ask point blank. Find out if she will be uncomfortable with phallic objects everywhere her eyes go or if she thinks the whole thing is funny. Find out how large of a group she wants or who she would ideally like there. If you are worried about surprises, just don’t share details. Find out the number of guests, level of conservative nature, and maybe some ideas to use as a starting point.
2. Be Honest and Direct with Bridesmaids Regarding Budget
Money. Always one of the most uncomfortable topics to discuss – at least for me. Here’s what I have learned about navigating through the budget topic. First, be honest and direct with all the other bridesmaids regarding budget. You can easily send a group message and say,
“Hey ladies, thinking of some potential party ideas, but I am trying not to get too carried away if we have different ideas of budgets (I just am SO excited!) How much money is everyone planning on spending? Would everyone comfortable spending [whatever] amount? I know I may be in a better financial position than others and I want to make sure everyone is comfortable. Let me know and if you want, you can always send me a PM on the side instead of in the group message. It is really important to me that everyone is comfortable, so please be honest and let me know!”
This should help ease others into feeling more comfortable telling you what they want to spend. You can even throw ideas out there that are obviously going to be more costly and some ideas that are cheap to see what ends up sticking the most as well. The point is to be direct and honest. In order to be successful in collaboration you need to provide a safe place where people feel they can voice their opinions without being judged, etc.
3. Figure out the Major Details as Early as Possible, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
It is never too early to plan…. at least when it comes to the big stuff. Focus on the major decisions first before wasting four hours on Pinterest finding the perfect backdrop for photos. If you need a little more guidance on what constitutes as major decisions, look no further!
Big Stuff: Budget, Guest Count, Where, Lodging, and Dates
Small Stuff: Decorations, Games, Gifts, Transportation, etc.
General Tip: VRBO is a great resource if you are interested in having everyone together in one place; a house often proves to be more logical and cheaper than a block of hotel rooms. Also, make sure to ask around – you never know if one of the bridesmaids has a cousin with a condo in the area that they are willing to hand the keys over for a weekend.
4. Always have a Backup Plan
Ah, a backup plan; only appreciated (or missed) when you truly need it. Make sure you have a backup plan. I don’t mean an entire second party (although that could be fun). I mean in terms of logistics. For example, if someone bails last minute – and trust me, someone is probably going to bail – make sure that all the girls are prepared (or more specifically, you) to cover the last minute costs that may come from the ball being dropped. If the karaoke taxi you scheduled drops the ball and doesn’t show, make sure you have uber already downloaded on your phone. If the bar you want to go to doesn’t take reservations and the line is seriously out the door, have a few back-ups that you can hit up first.
It never hurts to have a backup plan for any and all logistics.
5. Remember You Cannot Please Everyone, But You Can Please the Bride
This might be the hardest lesson to learn for a few of you readers. For people-pleasers like me, it can sometimes be difficult to accept that not everyone is guaranteed to have a great time. There are going to be girls that thought you all spent way too much money, that it was too rowdy, that it was boring, etc. Unfortunately, that is just the nature of bachelorette party planning.
However, you need to remember that the only person that you should aim to please is the bride. She is literally the only person that needs to have a good time for the bachelorette party to be a success. Regardless of what anyone else says, make sure that you are focusing and addressing her wants and needs.
Through my experience, I have often found out a bride typically is consumed with worry whether everyone is having a good time or not, but also struggles with not wanting to settle either. This is where you come in; be the decision-maker, be the leader, be the boss.
You are the captain of the Team Bride Cheer Squad – keep your girls in check and follow those five must-do’s and everything is sure to fall into place. You got this.